9) Lead by example
Having taken on board the previous eight points, here’s some tips on how to lead by example:
| Self-reflect: | Take the journey inwards. Try to understand how your own attitudes and actions may inadvertently contribute to the problem of gender violence and work towards changing them*. |
Be confident: |
Be confident in who you are and the choices you make. If people question you or your sexuality because you challenge their abusive behaviours, recognise this as a ploy to shut you down. Maintain your line and others will follow. |
Have courage: |
It takes courage to speak out when others are silent. Remember, courage is not a lack of fear, it’s facing fear and overcoming it. |
Work on your skills: |
It takes time and conscious effort to learn how to say and do things differently. Be patient with yourself as you develop the skills that will allow you to practice what you preach. Read books and take courses that you think might be helpful e.g. leadership, conflict resolution or assertiveness training. |
Be positive: |
Don’t be overwhelmed by the size of the problem. Focus upon what you can do and acknowledge your breakthroughs, no matter how small. Encourage those around you by recognising their efforts too. |
Use your sense of humour: |
Sexual assault and violence against women is a serious issue, but humour can still be part of your toolkit. Remember, laughter can be the ultimate diffuser, persuader and finder of common ground. |
Believe: |
Believe that our communities are capable of being safer and that your contribution brings us closer to that goal. |
Sources:
Banyard V, Plante E and Moynihan M “Bystander Education: Bringing A Broader Community Perspective to Sexual Violence Prevention”, University of New Hampshire, Journal of Community Psychology, Vol 32, No 1 2004
Flood M 2002-2003 Engaging Men: Strategies and dilemmas in violence prevention education among men Women Against Violence: A Feminist Journal, 13, pp. 25-32
*Katz J 10 Things Men Can Do To Prevent Gender Violence at www.jacksonkatz.com.
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